Dear Liberal Party of Australia,
Go ahead, merge with the National Party. I cannot see any better way for you to entrench your irrelevency in the minds of the small-l liberal voters of Australia than to merge with a group of socially-conservative agricultural-socialists.
With any luck, a merger might be the catalyst for your more progressive members to finally tell your increasingly Taliban-like NSW religious MPs where they can shove their bibles, and form the sort of centrist party that Australia desperately needs.
Enjoy your time in the wilderness,
PS. I think you’ve taken that practical joke of pretending that Brendan Nelson is leader a bit too far now. How’s the poor man going to feel when you tell him what you really think?